Wedding Tips #16 – Children

Just a reminder that I’m not a children’s entertainer and have little patience for toddlers, so please don’t assume I will be working in your Creche. Children have very little patience for caricatures and often end up in tears, so please don’t force them upon me. I am an adult entertainer, expert in making grown ups burst into laughter and creating a buzz. Children do not create a buzz, they kill it.

27 years experience has shown me that children make bad subjects, as they have no features, no patience and few manners, so a long queue of rowdy children invading my space can totally kill any joy I bring to your event. Therefore I always insist on drawing children later in the event, rather than first.

I write this after having been threatened at a recent wedding, by a burly father whose son was in tears when I ran out of time to draw him, while concentrating instead on the other 70 grown up guests. So instead of laughter and cheer, I left with threats and tears in my head and was late arriving at my next booking. 

Please remind your guests. It is my job to entertain adults, not look after children.

Wedding Tips #15 – Cheap is never good

good not cheap

When shopping around for the biggest day of your life, remember that not all artists are the same, not all are professional, not all are reliable and a clear indication of quality is their fee. I am a full time professional entertainer, that’s why I cost more – because I am established and I do this for a living! So don’t cut corners for your wedding by hiring a hobbyist or an amateur, don’t hire the cheapest, hire the best!

Quality matters

Wedding Tips #14 – Canapes? Pheeew!!

When considering your tasty canapes, perhaps consider their odour too? Remember that most fishy canapes (smoked salmon, mackerel pate etc) will leave an un-pleasant fishy smell and in an enclosed room this can be over powering! No-one enjoys feeling nauseous at a wedding reception, so maybe think twice?

smelly fish

On the subject of odours at weddings; considering a barbecue for your guests? Everyone loves a barbecue, right? Most of your guests will have spent a small fortune on their wedding outfits and to ruin them with smoke and fish odours is unthinkable. I attend 2 – 3 weddings each week and after every barbecue I have to fumigate and spend a fortune on dry cleaning too. So think of the whiff before planning stinky entrees or barbecues… Just a thought ūüėČ

Wedding Tips #13 – Must We? We Must!

This is a tale of the couple who said “Must we hire a caricaturist?”¬†when they should’ve said “We must hire a caricaturist!”¬†

Recently¬†I attended a wedding, where the parents had hired my services and the happy couple simply said “Must we…?” which meant that they did not follow my simple suggestions or prepare in any way for my performance. ¬†The evening kicked off¬†with speeches¬†starting late, despite keeping the guests waiting for 30 minutes after their meal, which is not great etiquette. This in turn made me 30 minutes late.

  • I was not greeted, by my client, Bride & Groom or any staff member and so left waiting without cue, feeling unwelcome.
  • I was un-anounced and un-expected, so people ignored me and even avoided me as I wandered in.
  • I was not paid on arrival and so had to search for my fee later in the already late evening.
  • I started at¬†the head table to find my first (important) subjects, but had no guidance and had to pick on a random guest, as the table dispersed.
  • I was working in the main ballroom, with the Disco, which was noisy with bad lighting, so banter was not an option.
  • I was forced into a corner near the bar, where I was monopolised by one table for upto an hour, producing their¬†family portraits, due to it being the only lit area.
  • The Bride & Groom avoided me until 10 minutes before I finished my stint, when they sat for their drawing, only to find all the lights went out for the Disco.
  • There were 100 day guests, plus evening extras and so I had to turn away at least 60+ people who I didn’t have time to draw. Two hours is not enought to keep 100 guests happy.

I  did my best as a professional entertainer, I do love entertaining and making new friends, but as the evening descended into darkness, I went largely un-noticed until I finished my stint and had to leave, with a feeling of under-performing, due to circumstances. If only they had followed my simple tips which I give every Bride & Groom upon booking;

  • Please greet me and¬†help me become acquainted with the venue and guests.
  • Tell everyone I am coming; it will generate excitement and a buzz of anticipation!
  • Please pay me on arrival, so we don’t play ‘hunt the wallet’ when everyone is drunk or absent later.
  • Offer guidance as to who I am to draw, so not to miss the important people.
  • Disco are dark and noisy so unsuitable for me to draw close-up caricatures in.
  • Please find a well lit area for me to perform or instruct the venue to keep lights on until I am finished.
  • Bride & Groom, step up as soon as possible so you don’t miss out (drawings done after the event are chargeable).
  • I recommend that Weddings with 70+ guests should always choose a 3 or 4 hour package, to make sure I maximise the numbers drawn.

Follow these steps and I can develop a rapport with your guests and maximise their entertainment value, helping make me one of the most memorable investments on your big day! Just say “We MUST hire a caricaturist… The Wedding Artist!”

Wedding Tips #12 – Photo Booth?

cheap photo booths

At a recent wedding fayre I found myself competing against the latest fad; PHOTO BOOTHS! This is in no way a fair comparison as I shall explain:

Mobile Photo Booths are primarily to intended entertain drunk punters, originally popular at Student Balls, these monstrosities have broadened their customer base to include Weddings, where they are monopolised by the intoxicated evening guests. Could you imagine Great Aunt Maude or Grandpa Joe queuing for hours to climb inside one, late at night? Booths are hastily erected, often cheaply produced and operated¬†largely by unskilled, part time staff, who are no more qualified to entertain your guests than they are to slice meat at a butcher’s. Wouldn’t you rather pay good money to have a trained, qualified, recognized professional entertainer at your wedding?

Quality of entertainment aside, logistically speaking they are at best a late night, static attraction, for those happy to encourage a queue at their evening celebrations. But would you hire a Photo Booth to keep your guests laughing during the professional photographs in the afternoon? What of your immediate family and head table, will they be guaranteed laughter or will they have to queue all evening just for a silly snap? Will you just end up with snaps of your work colleagues in a drunk state? These points should be considered.

Hiring a professional caricaturist, especially The Wedding Artist, guarantees you are paying for a professional entertainer, to mix with your guests and lift their spirits during the quiet periods, as needed. Never shabby or disappointing, The Wedding Artist will leave your guests smiling and talking about the drawings for weeks and months afterwards.

When did you last hear wedding guests singing the praises of the Photo Booth for weeks after a wedding??